We truly understand!
Every person involved in United By Loss has lost a baby and that isn’t a qualification, and it doesn’t make us experts in your grief. Nobody is an expert. It means that when you tell us what happened please know that we do understand.
Grief after baby loss is its own thing. It arrives with almost no memories to hold on to, it is often invisible to the people around you and it does not keep to the timetable others expect of it. We know because we are still in it.
Where this came from
United By Loss grew out of a group of bereaved fathers in the Solent who started meeting through football. Not because sitting in a group doesn’t work. It works for a great many people and we still point families towards it. But some men will never walk into that room, and a pitch turned out to be somewhere they would go. Over seven years it has grown far beyond the handful of us who started it. Dads, and the families around them.
What we saw in that time is that support after a baby dies reaches some people and misses others and that who it misses has more to do with chance than need. Fathers are one group that falls through. So are grandparents grieving a grandchild while holding up their own child. So are brothers and sisters who are often thought too young to be asked.
We registered as a charity in 2026 so that this could reach further than a few of us ever could on our own: care packages from the moment they’re needed, support for hospitals so the room a family is given is a kinder one, tributes anyone can make for free at any hour and talking about baby loss in places where it still isn’t talked about.
None of this fixes anything. All we can do is try to make a few of the worst days slightly less awful and make sure nobody gets through them on their own and knows that they are never alone.
Who this is for
Anyone whose baby has died. Mothers, fathers, partners. grandparents, brothers and sisters. Miscarriage, ectopic and molar pregnancy, termination for medical reasons, stillbirth, neonatal death. However it happened, however long ago.
Whether your baby was with you for nine weeks or nine months, you didn’t just lose a pregnancy. You lost the future you’d already started to imagine,
and the hope that came with it. You lost your baby.
What we’re not
We’re not counsellors and we won’t pretend otherwise. We work alongside bereavement midwives, counsellors and specialist services rather than instead of them,
and if when what you need is beyond us, we’d rather say so and help you find it.
The Charity
United By Loss is a Charitable Incorporated Organisation registered in England and Wales, charity number 1219340. Our trustees are Nicholas Lang, Wayne Luckins and Aaron Flippence. We are all volunteers and all of us have lost a baby. Our constitution is on the Charity Commission register and available on request.